人間失格 : Mine has been a life on much shame.

I loved this novel around the age of 20. This is the most famous and the top seller book since the past in Japan. Although, to tell the truth I don’t know the reason why this novel is sold so much. Because this novel’s story is filled with a dark mood. The significant sentence in this novel is this.

“恥の多い生涯を送ってきました”

“Mine has been a life on much shame”

This translation was from a very famous researcher about Japanese literature. I would like to tell you the meanings of these words.

恥 haji : shame

生涯 syogai : life

You may not be able to imagine what “a life on much shame” is. This sentence is a confession from the main character. However, we know that this confession came from this author’s life. His name is Osamu Dazai.

He had tried to suicide sometimes in his life, and some of them were lovers’ suicide. And eventually he died at the age of 38, with his lover. That affair occurred in Tokyo and also it has been reported in newspapers.

I’m not sure why this novel has been sold so much, however I can say that many Japanese intellectuals have sympathy with this author’s confession. And also it can be said that this confession is an expression from humans’ anxiety itself. In a modern society, everybody feels anxiety, I think. He wrote, “Mine has been a life on much shame.” Yeah, namely, we always fear being embarrassed within a society, the same as this author. 

In this novel, the main character also hates hypocrisy about his life itself. He wanted to live pure in his mind. But it has been difficult. I think many Japanese see the same thing in his mind as their own. 

This novel isn’t a fact, but it reflects the author's life. So, we read this novel as the author’s confession.

Japanese Tanka from Kyoto, it’s a beautiful love song

階段を　　　　　　ka i da n wo

二段跳びして　　　ni da n to bi shi te

上がりゆく　　　　a ga ri yu ku

待ち合わせのなき　ma chi a wa se no na ki

北大路駅　　　　　ki ta o u ji e ki

This poem was written by a young female poet, within Kyoto. Her name is Mikako Umenai, who is a famous poet. I lived in Kyoto around my young days so I love this poem. “Tanka 短歌” has rhythm of 5, 7, 5, 7, and 7 sounds. This is a rule of Tanka and a beautiful rhythm for Japanese people. First, I would like to tell you the meaning of these Japanese words.

階段　　　　　　　stairway

二段跳び　　　　　double jumping

上がりゆく　　　　going up

待ち合わせのなき　without a promise of meeting

北大路駅　　　　　Kitaoji station

Kitaoji station is located in Northern Kyoto city and this station is metro. This poem expresses that the poet is going up stairs from the underground. You may feel some fresh feelings from this poem.

She was a university student at the time. And in this case, she didn’t have a promise to meet with someone there. In my understanding, “someone” means a boyfriend in this case. So, maybe, she wanted to have a promise to meet someone but she didn’t have that unfortunately. 

Around when she was living in Kyoto, I was also living in Kyoto as a student. So I can understand what she wanted to say well. Kyoto is a students’ town, so there are many young couples here and there. I can say, if you are walking in the town alone, you may feel a bit lonely. Because she must have been living in Kyoto alone. And, that’s why this poet wanted to have a promise of dating at this time. I understand this way.

She didn’t have a promise to meet someone, therefore she wrote this poem. I think this poem expresses her feelings very well. And, therefore I can say this poem is very beautiful.

“Mayonaka no door” from the 1970s in Japan

“Mayonaka 真夜中” is a Japanese word and “door” is English. Japanese often name the title of the song this way. It’s confusing. Although, they spell “Doa ドア” not “door” in Japan. I mean, this is a foreign word for Japanese people.

When I listened to this song, I was a junior high school student back then. In schools, there had been storms in classrooms, because some bad boys belonged to any class. And I didn’t know what it means to love a female yet. The lyrics of this song are a bit complicated.

In this song, she is listening to music from the record. Do you know what “record” is? It’s a black disk to record music. There were no iPhones, CD-players and Amazon yet around those days.

“Mayonaka no door,” it means “door at midnight.” 

She left her lover but she is still thinking that he may come to her. She imagines her lover is standing over the door, while she is listening to music in her room. It’s midnight, therefore she feels lonely. No matter how much she hopes he comes again, nobody emerges from the door.

“Stay with me, mayonaka no door wo tataki”

Japanese singer Miki Matsubara sang this way. She was born in 1959, and passed away in 2004 unfortunately. This song was a big hit in 1979 in Japan. Those days, the Japanese economy was growing quickly. Whereas, we had many environmental problems domestically. There were many bad students in schools and also you saw many political conflicts in society. Although, Japan was lively and we were enjoying ourselves everyday, as I.